This Iowa Senator Who Introduced A Bill That Would Prohibit Iowa From Competing Against Stanford Until They Apologize For The Rose Bowl Halftime Show Needs To Shut The Fuck Up

Des Moines- Iowa’s three state universities would be prohibited from cooperating with Stanford University until Stanford officials publicly apologize to Iowans for “unsporting behavior” by the school’s marching band during the Jan. 1 Rose Bowl football game under a bill introduced Wednesday in the Iowa Senate. Stanford’s football team defeated the University of Iowa 45-16 in the game. In addition, the Stanford band, which has a history of irreverent performances, poked fun during the halftime show with a dancing cow, a frowning farmer formation and other tongue-in-cheek gestures that upset some Iowans. ESPN, which televised the game, cut away from the band’s performance. State Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa, told The Des Moines Register at the Iowa Capitol on Wednesday that he introduced Senate File 2081 because he believes Stanford officials have condoned improper behavior by the marching band.“I think it’s unfortunate because here in Iowa we try to teach sportsmanship,” Chelgren said. “We try to teach courtesy, and when someone behaves in a way that is contrary to that, we need to point it out.”

Dude. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Right now. What are you doing? Do you not realize how this makes us look like huge pussies? “Wahhhhhhhhhh the Stanford band was mean to us and their football team pushed our shit in so we’re gonna take our ball and go home until they say sorry.” I honestly thought it was an Onion article the first time I read about this. No way can a senator be this stupid to bring up the Rose Bowl again and for this insane reason. We lost, their band brought out a giant cow at halftime because LOL Iowa and that was that. Done. Here’s the other problem with this bill, everybody was on Iowa’s side in terms of saying Stanford’s band is a bunch of fucking losers.  How they think they’re more important and hilarious than they really are. Now we look like the idiots. The ones with thin skin who actually took it personally when a band of hippies took a few jabs at us. When in reality no self-respecting Iowan actually gave a shit. Sure as hell not enough to introduce a bill into senate. And then to try and take the high road like, “Well we’re good at sportsmanship so they should be too.” I’ll say it again: Shut. The. Fuck. Up. What an idiot.